Anger is only one letter short of danger.’ This popular saying sums up the detrimental effect of anger. And if this powerful emotion teams up with teenage, its effects can be even more destructive.If you are the parent of a teenager, anger management will be one of the biggest challenges that you may be facing. It is one thing that makes growing up during teens complicated and difficult – for both parents and the teenager.
Anger Management For Teens
Understanding your teenager’s psyche and following a few tips can help you manage anger in youth better.
Why Does My Teenager Get So Angry?
We have all been there, haven’t we? Remember, how your parents struggled dealing with your moods and emotions during your teens? The best way to manage anger in teens is to understand why he gets so angry in first place.
1. Teenage – the age of metamorphosis
Teenage is an age of physical and psychological development and hormonal changes. There is a serious metamorphosis in and around your teen’s world which creates a lot of confusion.
- Your once obedient and sweet child who couldn’t even think of being separated from you now will not be seen within reach.
- As your teen slowly flies out of your comfortable cocoon and gets more independent, he constantly faces confusion.
- The transition of getting fully independent from being fully dependent earlier creates confusion in your teenager’s brain.
- Respect the fact that your teenager is growing up and give him the space he expects and deserves.
2. Aggressive and violent teenager:
If your teen is perennially angry, frustrated, violent or aggressive, you will always be fearful. Every knock on the door and a phone call may have you worried, as you think it will be bad news that either your son is harmed or has harmed others.
Teenage girls also get angry, but they express it verbally rather than physically. Whereas teenage boys show their anger by kicking doors, throwing objects or punching walls.
The aggressive and violent behavior can be extremely upsetting experience for any parent, especially a single mom.
Anger management in teens
The key to remember is that you need to realize that anger is perfectly normal. It is a natural emotion like love and happiness and there is nothing wrong about it. Having said that, expressing it the right way and controlling is what matters the most.
How your teen expresses his anger is what makes it good or bad. Here are a few tips on how to deal with anger management in teenagers that you can keep in mind to help him manage his anger better:
1. Vent Out, Don’t Burst Out
Help your teenager understand that venting out his anger is good, but must be done carefully.
2. Anger Isn’t Power
Most teenagers feel that anger helps them gain power and respect. They find it authoritative. This could also be because they see their elders getting angry all the time.
- Monitor the way you conduct yourself in front of your teenager. You learn what you see.
- Help him understand that it is easier to communicate anger peacefully.
- Anger is not a way of gaining control over lives. It doesn’t make anyone powerful.
- It only makes you powerless, even on your own self!
What To Do When Your Teen Is Angry & Defiant?
Teenagers who are angry, defiant and oppositional most of the time will often draw you into power struggles and arguments. The best thing you can do in this situation is to be your solid self and figure out the problem slowly.
Firstly disengage and help your teen learn how to manage his emotions of frustration and disappointment. However, disengaging can sometime enrage him, so better don’t be reactive or respond to him emotionally. Tell him that you can talk when he has calmed down and walk away from the scene.Try not to get back into the matter even though he tries to draw you in.
Your major goal is to keep things in place and continue being engaged with your teen. The more you react to him, the more he will drag you in, just fuelling the struggle. Try ignoring his attempts by turning on the radio or television. If your teen is old enough, you can take him for a drive or walk.
Anger Management Tips For Teens:
It is easier said than done, but as a parent, you need to help your teen control his anger. Here are a few anger management tips for teenagers that will help you do so in a more constructive way:
- Your teen can feel it when he gets angry. He will feel warm and hot flushes and his heart will start to pound. Tell him to identify this emotion and step back when he experiences it. Ask him to take a deep breath and slowly breathe it out.
- Tell your teen to count from 1 to 10. This will help divert his mind and cool him down.
- Teach your teen to always think before he reacts. Let him practice a lot of self-control. Ask him to identify the factors that made him angry and look for a solution to make things better.
- Tell your teen to practice yoga for a peaceful mind and soul. Exercising regularly, playing a lot of different sports and having a healthy body helps reduce stress and boost energy.
- Ensure your teen eats right all the time. Diet too plays a pivotal role in controlling emotions and moods. Your teen should eat lots of fresh fruits, vegetables and healthy food..
Anger Management Activities For Teens
For teenagers who struggle to manage their anger, team building activities help. By playing some activities together, they learn about their anger and also try to control it. You can encourage him to try the following activities with siblings, friends or with the family itself.
Team building activities help teens with many key skills. They will –
- Recognize the difference between feelings and actions of being angry.
- Identify the triggers of anger
- Easily recognize their physical actions when angry
- Think about the consequences of anger
- Develop productive ways of expressing and managing angry feelings
1. Hidden Heart
It is a team building activity from Games for Groups and designed for teenagers to recognize and understand how anger affects them.
You Will Need:
Each team member requires:
- A paper
- A pencil or pen
- One large and one small deflated balloon
- Thin pieces of ribbon and permanent marker.
- Ask your teen and other team members to write any of their past angry experience on paper and place it in the small balloon.
- Now keep the small balloon inside the larger balloon.
- Let them write something on the outside of the larger balloon, for instance, let them use humor to hide the pain.
- Then all of them should burst the balloons together, and if they are comfortable, they can share what they have written on the paper.
2. Board Game Challenge
It is another easy game to try at home with things you may already have. It helps your teenager how to acquire a good sportsmanship in competitive situations and also helps to control anger, agitation and frustration.
You Will Need:
- Play money
- Few board games like Jenga or Operation.
- The group can take up any board game and keep playing. The members earn money by playing different games.
- Finally, present a gift to the person who has more money in order to make the game more competitive.
- Now, once done, encourage your teen child and his friends to think about the following questions: How did you feel about losing the game? What was the purpose for you to win? Did you feel disappointed when playing? If yes, how did you handle it?
Try encouraging your teen through these activities to manage their anger. If their anger gets out their hand, it can be dangerous.
Be There For Your Teen
Teenage anger management does get tough, but a little change in your attitude as a parent can go a long way in helping your teenager control those anger issues. Here are some things you need to keep in mind:
- Don’t be too judgemental. Respect the fact that your teen is growing into an adult and treat him as one.
- Be a good listener. Your teenager probably just wants someone to hear him out. Be patient and listen carefully. A problem well heard is problem half-solved.
- Control your own anger, reactions and stress levels. Children pick up most habits form their parents. Monitor the way you react to situations. Be your child’s role model.
- Avoid heated arguments. Encourage healthy discussions to sort problems out.
- Connecting with your teen might take time. So take it easy. If your teen rejects the idea of you getting closer, be patient. Try later.
Being a parent to a teen is no easy task. So much so that most parents dread this phase! Remember, this is just a phase and shall pass on soon. Help your teenager understand that being angry about something isn’t wrong, but what he does to express the emotion is what makes the difference.
One of the best tips for managing your teen’s anger is not make him feel controlled and managed. This would only make your teen resist all that you say.
Tell us if you have other ways to manage anger management in teens. Share the problems you face while dealing with him and solutions too. We are all ears for your difficulties and would be happy to render help.