New evidence implies that adolescent bullying and victimization may have its beginnings in the home. Many bullies have parents who are also equally hostile, punitive and rejecting of them according to these studies and researchers from Florida Atlantic University’s Charles E. Schmidt College of Science, Concordia University in Montreal, Canada, and Uppsala University in Sweden, have also been able to identify another type of parenting that contributes to peer difficulties: those who disrespect and direct contempt at their children.
Such derisive parenting can use demeaning and insulting expressions that can humiliate and frustrate the child. These insults from the parents will come without any provoking by the child and these parents respond to child engagement with criticism, sarcasm, put-downs and hostility, and rely on emotional and physical coercion to obtain compliance.
The study on bullying
The study, published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence, emphasizes the emotional underpinnings bullying. The researchers followed 1,409 children for three consecutive years from grades 7 to 9 (ages 13-15 years).
Findings from this showed that derisive parenting paves the way to unregulated anger in adolescent children. Ill-regulated anger is also to a great extent, indicative of difficulties in regulating emotion, which typically result in negative emotions, verbal and physical aggression, and hostility. This can lead to teenagers turning against their peers in school and the likes and bullying them to compensate for the lack of respect and acceptance that they get from their own parents.
How can you stop such bullying occurrences?
You are the parent and you are, therefore in charge. However the sooner you admit that your child while being ‘your child’ is also a completely different and unique individual, it would be easier for you to parent them in the right way. Just think about it, you want the very best for your child and bullying them unintentionally is not the way to go about that. Give them respect, treat them as equals and earn your child’s respect for you, not their fear and definitely not their loathing.